My Thanksgiving
For many, Thanksgiving is about being with family, lots of food and laughter, and taking time to be grateful. I love that we have a holiday in our country that celebrates all those things.
Can I tell you a secret, though? I love not celebrating Thanksgiving. It first started on the day this blog got the name Alice, Ever After. That year I was in Boston and didn't go home for Thanksgiving. Instead, I had breakfast with some local friends and watched the Macy's Day parade. We brainstormed ideas for my future bookstore and the name Alice, Ever After was born. Then I went back to my apartment and relaxed. No turkeys, no stuffing. The following year, in LA, Nikolas got sick right before Thanksgiving and I decided not to leave him alone. I cozied up in my apartment and read a whole lot of books. The year after that I was determined to have a solo Thanksgiving and was ridiculously happy with the decision.
Last year, being back on the east coast and living with my sister, we knew we had to go home. We braved a major winter storm to drive 8 hours back to Buffalo and the weekend was filled with all those Thanksgiving traditions - food, laughter, family.
This year, my sister and her boyfriend are with his family in Virginia. This left me with a couple of possibilities but I will be honest, I pined for my solo Thanksgiving days of the past. I told local family I would be joining them because they are just so damn lovely and I didn't want to hurt their feelings.
Yesterday I came home from work and I knew what I had to do, cancel plans and do my own thing. Most people think I am crazy when I say this and usually after I tell folks I will be home alone I get something like, "Well, you can come to our Thanksgiving!" It's not you folks, it's me.
So let me tell you all, here is why I skip out on probably the loveliest holiday of the year just to be alone. First and foremost, there is the lack of stress. I don't have to worry about contributing to a meal as a guest, I don't fight traffic or weather, I don't have to explain why, at 33, I am still single. (That last one only happens every once in awhile. Most close family and friends have given up on that one.)
The lack of stress is then replaced with my second reason, the relaxation. As I write this I am still in bed, in my pjs, cup of coffee at the ready, listening to beautiful music. My phone ringer is off, I have just finished a crossword puzzle, and for only the 2nd time this month I am finding time to blog. Ahhhhh. It feels so good. *breath in, breath out.
And then there is the third reason. I am forced to have a day of true reflection and thanks-giving. Everything is closed (big box stores be damned!) and the general population is somewhere else. I have a full day to lie in bed, or knit, or read, or cook, or go for a long walk, or watch movies, or play my guitar, or try drawing (!), or any combination of these things. And in each moment I choose what I want to do, I am thankful for all that I have been given this year.
So there you have it folks. Alone on Thanksgiving. While lounging in bed I've come up with a "few" things I have been most thankful for this year. Brace yourself, I went crazy with the pictures.
There's more, of course. But it is time to move on with my day. Love to all and happy Thanksgiving!
Can I tell you a secret, though? I love not celebrating Thanksgiving. It first started on the day this blog got the name Alice, Ever After. That year I was in Boston and didn't go home for Thanksgiving. Instead, I had breakfast with some local friends and watched the Macy's Day parade. We brainstormed ideas for my future bookstore and the name Alice, Ever After was born. Then I went back to my apartment and relaxed. No turkeys, no stuffing. The following year, in LA, Nikolas got sick right before Thanksgiving and I decided not to leave him alone. I cozied up in my apartment and read a whole lot of books. The year after that I was determined to have a solo Thanksgiving and was ridiculously happy with the decision.
Last year, being back on the east coast and living with my sister, we knew we had to go home. We braved a major winter storm to drive 8 hours back to Buffalo and the weekend was filled with all those Thanksgiving traditions - food, laughter, family.
This year, my sister and her boyfriend are with his family in Virginia. This left me with a couple of possibilities but I will be honest, I pined for my solo Thanksgiving days of the past. I told local family I would be joining them because they are just so damn lovely and I didn't want to hurt their feelings.
Yesterday I came home from work and I knew what I had to do, cancel plans and do my own thing. Most people think I am crazy when I say this and usually after I tell folks I will be home alone I get something like, "Well, you can come to our Thanksgiving!" It's not you folks, it's me.
So let me tell you all, here is why I skip out on probably the loveliest holiday of the year just to be alone. First and foremost, there is the lack of stress. I don't have to worry about contributing to a meal as a guest, I don't fight traffic or weather, I don't have to explain why, at 33, I am still single. (That last one only happens every once in awhile. Most close family and friends have given up on that one.)
The lack of stress is then replaced with my second reason, the relaxation. As I write this I am still in bed, in my pjs, cup of coffee at the ready, listening to beautiful music. My phone ringer is off, I have just finished a crossword puzzle, and for only the 2nd time this month I am finding time to blog. Ahhhhh. It feels so good. *breath in, breath out.
And then there is the third reason. I am forced to have a day of true reflection and thanks-giving. Everything is closed (big box stores be damned!) and the general population is somewhere else. I have a full day to lie in bed, or knit, or read, or cook, or go for a long walk, or watch movies, or play my guitar, or try drawing (!), or any combination of these things. And in each moment I choose what I want to do, I am thankful for all that I have been given this year.
So there you have it folks. Alone on Thanksgiving. While lounging in bed I've come up with a "few" things I have been most thankful for this year. Brace yourself, I went crazy with the pictures.
- My friends. The college friends who filled my soul when I was recently back west for a wedding. My new friends who have kept me company for most Wednesdays in our weekly dates over the past year and who I miss dearly now that they have moved on and Wednesdays are back to normal. My best friend Marcus, who has been my buddy for almost 20 years and who, yesterday, sent me a ridiculous text at the exact right moment and changed my day. My friends from every city I have lived along the way, and currently live in, who have become my family and shown me so much love. And my friends who are making their own families and welcoming me into the lives of their children.
Photo courtesy of Donna Romesburg |
- My family. I get to live with my sister. I love living with my sister. What a thing to have in life. She brought with her an amazing man who I consider family. Especially because he makes baller breakfasts on the weekend. My parents who never, ever stop loving me no matter how many reasons I give them to shake their heads. My older brother who has brought a whole new family into our lives and they have fulfilled me in a way that I could never have imagined. My younger brother who is killing it as a grown up and makes me proud every moment of every day. My grandparents, my extended family, gosh darn it are they the coolest.
Photo by Lisa Marie Photography |
- My cat. I said goodbye to him this year and I am so, so thankful for the 16+ years he was by my side. I was not prepared for the devastation of his loss or the capacity of love I could have for one little orange fur ball.
- My stories. Mama mia have I made some mistakes. Once upon a time I had a friend who reminded me that those mistakes gave me character and I waxed on about how I didn't think I could possibly handle more character. Thinking back to each "mistake" I see that it lead to a whole new world of possibilities. Growing up on a farm, watching whales migrate through the bay from my dorm window, living the fear of having a stalker, teaching, teaching, teaching, teaching, driving along the Pacific Coast Highway and eating fish fry looking out over the ocean by myself, breaking up with someone after way too long, breaking up with someone at just the right time, reading, reading, reading and learning from the stories I read, moving again and again, spending too much money and finally learning how to save money, always loving too much for my own good, flying trapeze, sequoia trees, deserts, oceans, and everything in between. Not a single regret in there. How could I have any?
- Knowing forgiveness and forgiving. I can't think of anything more powerful than someone forgiving you for a mistake. I can't think of anything more healing than letting go and forgiving. I'll keep making mistakes that need to be forgiven and I will keep allowing you to make mistakes that I will surely forgive.
There's more, of course. But it is time to move on with my day. Love to all and happy Thanksgiving!
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