Dancin in France - Part 3

Posted by Meg July 16, 2016

Dancin in France - Part 3 - Nice

Promenade des Anglais - from above
Peaceful one week before the attack

Nice. This beautiful city I was geared up to gush about. It now holds on to such sorrow and pain. I can't believe that just a week ago we were walking the same streets. Eighty-four lives lost but so much more loss. I don't know the grief that comes with losing a loved one from terrorism but I know grief from tragedy. I know that the friends, the parents, the grandparents, the cousins, the aunts and uncles, the teachers - the community - of those who lost their lives are living a painful reality right now. I know those left to mourn the lives of those 84 will walk a difficult path in the upcoming months.

Before we arrived in Nice, I had posted some pictures on Facebook of our trip. The day we were set to head to Nice, the United States experienced the loss of two more black men at the hands of police, and 7 police officers because of hate and fear spreading through our society. I felt the weight of guilt and my privilege preparing to sit on the rocky shores of Nice.

And now, here I sit in the comfort of safety while the place of my respite from grief has been under attack. We aren't safe. Life, sadly, is about the ongoing risk that at any second you will lose it all. Your friends will head to a dance club and never come out alive. You will get pulled over for not using a turn signal and that will be the beginning of your end. You will ride your bike with your best friend on a country dirt road and a blind corner will whisk your life away. Those of us who survive are left to sort through the emotional wreckage that follows in the wake of tragedy.

Plato, maybe?, said "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle." Since losing Nate I sometimes wish my pain was a sign around my neck, so that others know about the battle I fight. It has also made me conscious of others who I assume have no battle. When you pass someone on the street, what might be the inner battle they are fighting? What does their tomorrow hold that might bring them pain? That person driving slow down the road, who frustrates you because you are so anxious to get moving, they might be feeling the anguish of grief because they remember that once upon a time their sweet nephew was in that car with them, singing and bopping along. Maybe they can't go any faster because they know that memory will last only as long as that road. That person driving fast behind you, beeping and trying to get moving, perhaps they have received a call that their loved one was just lost at the hands of terrorism and every second counts in getting to their family.

My heart breaks for Nice. It feels the raw pain of loss every time I hear about another tragic end to a life. Nice, you offered me pebbled beaches that were rocky and beautiful. I found peace among your shores. I breathed your Mediterranean air and it healed me. Thank you for everything.