Time to Read
It's me again, back from the land of new parenting. This journey has been a life lesson, that's for sure. We talked and talked before Oscar was born about all the ways we were going to do things. Experienced parents laughed at us and told us we would be surprised when it didn't work the way we thought. We chuckled along, yes, we knew there was no way to actually know how it would all turn out. Well, they were right. Although, not about all the things. Here's what got the most laughs and where we stand...so far.
What we said...
We don't want a real crib. We'll stick with the travel one so we can easily move it in and out of Oscar's room when guests come over.
What happened...
Well, he was in his travel crib for two days and we're over it. It's actually a pretty awesome crib but the mattress sits on the floor. Great for every once in a while but bending over all the time to pick him up and put him in has made my back hurt. So here's the new one. Big shout out to Mas for supplying us with so many amazing baby things!
What we said...
We don't want a lot of toys. We'll keep it to two baskets but that's it.
What happened...
Still good!
What I said...
I'll never be one of those moms in the mom groups or those mommy and baby workout classes.
What happened...
My mom group meets every Tuesday and last week was my first stroller bootcamp. Meh. Like Ali Wong says, "...when you’re a new mom on maternity leave, it’s like 'The Walking Dead'—you just gotta hook up with a crew to survive.”
So things are going pretty ok! One of the hardest parts is the nothingness - the hours of time spent just sitting with Oscar. Whether it is nursing (around 6 hours a day), pumping (about an hour a day), or napping (Oscar seems to like to sleep best when he is sleeping on me - about 5 hours a day), I spend a whole lot of time waiting. At first, the check-list fiend in me was dying. While I was just sitting there I could be blogging (can't reach a keyboard), cleaning, doing yoga, etc. I was pretty frustrated with all those lost hours and looked for ways that I could get all the things done - and still feed Oscar and let him nap.
Then in one of my millionth hours of staring at a child who was holding me hostage, I remembered summer mornings when I was little on the farm. The sun would come up and the early morning hours fell away. A warm breeze snuck in through the window, the smell of earth wafting in. I didn't rush to get up and get started. I just sat there, for as long as possible, looking at nothing and let thoughts float in and out of my mind. I called this time my brain space. My brain had time to think and nothing else.
In a world filled with endless possibilities with the click or swipe of a screen, this brain space seems to have vanished from my adult life. In my most hurried moments at school - typically around report card season - I have always longed for those morning moments on the farm.
And then it dawned on me. These moments with Oscar, this time I'm being given, it isn't me being held hostage. This is a precious gift, one that I may never get again, in which I can find space for my brain to think. Not only that, I get to do it with my own little guy. We get to do this together! (Note to reader: many people told me that this was precious time and I heard them. But I had to actually decide it for myself before I knew it to be true.)
Since shifting my go-go-go brain to this new philosophy, I've been reveling in these moments. I've found new mom-dom is still difficult, but I welcome this particular challenge. Not only that, but I've found time to read! I have an audio book and a stack of real books that I'm currently making my way through during my time with Oscar. Here's what I am reading!
The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt
This was the book everybody was reading a few years ago. I missed it then but now we (because I'm always with Oscar) are listening to it. Audio books are a bit of a challenge for me because I get distracted easily. But we are almost done and it's kept me hooked!
How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids by Jancee Dunn
Oscar has the most amazing pediatrician and she runs the new mom group I attend. She's so amazing that last week, after class, Oscar and I went to a coffee shop across the street to get lunch. A mom with a 10 month-old baby stopped me and talked to me. "Are you in Jocelyn's new mom class?" "Yes!" "Oh man, she is the best. I went as long as I could until it got awkward. But I wish I was still in it."
So this amazing pediatrician has basically saved all of our lives about a million times. A couple of weeks ago one mom was talking about how the baby has changed her relationship with her husband.
"Ask yourself, was my husband an asshole before the baby? If the answer is no, it is most likely just the stress of a new baby. Read How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids." Jocelyn - NP extraordinaire.
Another mom replied that she was reading the book and loved it. So of course I had to know what it was all about. This book is hysterical (how can we be soooo cliche??) and full of really practical advice. Even if you don't hate your husband, or are not married but co-parenting like I am, this is a great easy read.
Stories of Motherhood by various authors
When my friend Marcus and his wife had their first child, I gifted him the fatherhood version of this book. So when we had Oscar, he gave me this version! Boasting short stories from authors such as Willa Cather, Amy Tam, and Louise Erdrich, this book is jam-packed full of sweet stories. I'm halfway through and I've laughed and cried and held my breath.
Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain by Maryanne Wolf
One of the reasons I moved from 4th grade and special education back to kindergarten was because of the amount of reading disabilities among 4th grade readers. Supporting 9 and 10 year olds through a reading disability is a very challenging task. I was hopeful that by working with students at the beginning of their reading lives, I could build a strong foundation and provide early intervention when there was evidence of a possible disability. So far this has only sort of worked. I can recognize and identify the early signs but I just don't have the experience and background knowledge to help my struggling kiddos to make the progress they need to make.
When my friend Rebecca came to visit this summer, she had this book with her. I am always intrigued to learn more about what I do. I haven't started this yet but I am really looking forward to reading!
So there you have it friends. As the man and I are discovering, parenting is pretty hard - just not in the ways we thought it was going to be. It took me 3 days to get this post written. :) But I am learning to breath through it and embrace the precious time I have. And to get some reading done!
What we said...
We don't want a real crib. We'll stick with the travel one so we can easily move it in and out of Oscar's room when guests come over.
What happened...
Well, he was in his travel crib for two days and we're over it. It's actually a pretty awesome crib but the mattress sits on the floor. Great for every once in a while but bending over all the time to pick him up and put him in has made my back hurt. So here's the new one. Big shout out to Mas for supplying us with so many amazing baby things!
 |
| travel crib...lovely but ouchie |
 |
| Overly filtered photo...obvi. New crib. Messy bed. Mobile made by me! |
What we said...
We don't want a lot of toys. We'll keep it to two baskets but that's it.
What happened...
Still good!
What I said...
I'll never be one of those moms in the mom groups or those mommy and baby workout classes.
What happened...
My mom group meets every Tuesday and last week was my first stroller bootcamp. Meh. Like Ali Wong says, "...when you’re a new mom on maternity leave, it’s like 'The Walking Dead'—you just gotta hook up with a crew to survive.”
So things are going pretty ok! One of the hardest parts is the nothingness - the hours of time spent just sitting with Oscar. Whether it is nursing (around 6 hours a day), pumping (about an hour a day), or napping (Oscar seems to like to sleep best when he is sleeping on me - about 5 hours a day), I spend a whole lot of time waiting. At first, the check-list fiend in me was dying. While I was just sitting there I could be blogging (can't reach a keyboard), cleaning, doing yoga, etc. I was pretty frustrated with all those lost hours and looked for ways that I could get all the things done - and still feed Oscar and let him nap.
 |
| Stack of books - just out of my reach! |
Then in one of my millionth hours of staring at a child who was holding me hostage, I remembered summer mornings when I was little on the farm. The sun would come up and the early morning hours fell away. A warm breeze snuck in through the window, the smell of earth wafting in. I didn't rush to get up and get started. I just sat there, for as long as possible, looking at nothing and let thoughts float in and out of my mind. I called this time my brain space. My brain had time to think and nothing else.
In a world filled with endless possibilities with the click or swipe of a screen, this brain space seems to have vanished from my adult life. In my most hurried moments at school - typically around report card season - I have always longed for those morning moments on the farm.
And then it dawned on me. These moments with Oscar, this time I'm being given, it isn't me being held hostage. This is a precious gift, one that I may never get again, in which I can find space for my brain to think. Not only that, I get to do it with my own little guy. We get to do this together! (Note to reader: many people told me that this was precious time and I heard them. But I had to actually decide it for myself before I knew it to be true.)
Since shifting my go-go-go brain to this new philosophy, I've been reveling in these moments. I've found new mom-dom is still difficult, but I welcome this particular challenge. Not only that, but I've found time to read! I have an audio book and a stack of real books that I'm currently making my way through during my time with Oscar. Here's what I am reading!
The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt
This was the book everybody was reading a few years ago. I missed it then but now we (because I'm always with Oscar) are listening to it. Audio books are a bit of a challenge for me because I get distracted easily. But we are almost done and it's kept me hooked!
How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids by Jancee Dunn
Oscar has the most amazing pediatrician and she runs the new mom group I attend. She's so amazing that last week, after class, Oscar and I went to a coffee shop across the street to get lunch. A mom with a 10 month-old baby stopped me and talked to me. "Are you in Jocelyn's new mom class?" "Yes!" "Oh man, she is the best. I went as long as I could until it got awkward. But I wish I was still in it."
So this amazing pediatrician has basically saved all of our lives about a million times. A couple of weeks ago one mom was talking about how the baby has changed her relationship with her husband.
"Ask yourself, was my husband an asshole before the baby? If the answer is no, it is most likely just the stress of a new baby. Read How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids." Jocelyn - NP extraordinaire.
Another mom replied that she was reading the book and loved it. So of course I had to know what it was all about. This book is hysterical (how can we be soooo cliche??) and full of really practical advice. Even if you don't hate your husband, or are not married but co-parenting like I am, this is a great easy read.
Stories of Motherhood by various authors
When my friend Marcus and his wife had their first child, I gifted him the fatherhood version of this book. So when we had Oscar, he gave me this version! Boasting short stories from authors such as Willa Cather, Amy Tam, and Louise Erdrich, this book is jam-packed full of sweet stories. I'm halfway through and I've laughed and cried and held my breath.
Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain by Maryanne Wolf
One of the reasons I moved from 4th grade and special education back to kindergarten was because of the amount of reading disabilities among 4th grade readers. Supporting 9 and 10 year olds through a reading disability is a very challenging task. I was hopeful that by working with students at the beginning of their reading lives, I could build a strong foundation and provide early intervention when there was evidence of a possible disability. So far this has only sort of worked. I can recognize and identify the early signs but I just don't have the experience and background knowledge to help my struggling kiddos to make the progress they need to make.
When my friend Rebecca came to visit this summer, she had this book with her. I am always intrigued to learn more about what I do. I haven't started this yet but I am really looking forward to reading!
So there you have it friends. As the man and I are discovering, parenting is pretty hard - just not in the ways we thought it was going to be. It took me 3 days to get this post written. :) But I am learning to breath through it and embrace the precious time I have. And to get some reading done!
 |
| Took a family trip to Colby Farm |
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| Stopped for a drink after. #thenewnormal |
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| The cats are loving my extra time at home. |
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